(With apologies in case they typed it in manually….)
Dear Clownfish Television (and practically everybody else who loves them a good vacation),
I hate to be the unwilling instigator of doom for whoever does the descriptions for your videos, but did you read the description for the video above? It might still be there, depending on when you read this–take a look-see.
This is how it appeared on July 6th, 2024 at any rate:
“Disney World vacation costs are exorbitant and not worth the price due to long lines, additional charges, and overpriced events, targeting upper middle class families with expensive vacations.
00:00 Disney vacation costs $12,000, criticizes expensive resorts and high prices of Disney World.
01:43 Disney World vacation costs are exorbitant, with the goal being to get people to spend over $10,000 on a week’s vacation, and guests spend 80% of their time standing in line, making it a scam.
04:26 Disney World vacation costs vary from $4200 to $42,000, and it’s not a cheap family theme park anymore, but more like Vegas with fur suitors.
05:56 Disney World is too expensive for most people and they are choosing cheaper vacation destinations instead, potentially affecting the stock price.
07:49 Disney World is expensive and not worth the cost due to long lines and additional charges, but it’s not a scam.
10:08 Disney World vacation costs $110,000, people spend extra $2,000-$3,000 to ride everything, park now charges for things that used to be free, after hours events are overpriced and not worth it.
12:59 Disney World is a scam targeting upper middle class wives with expensive vacations, charging extra for virtual queue and lightning Lane access, but it’s better to stay at a cheaper hotel and use the money for tour guides to avoid spending a small fortune and waiting in long lines.
14:49 Disney World is too expensive, stop paying and the prices will go down.”
Where to begin….
Redundant and repetitive does not even begin to describe it. Worse, at 07:49, it contradicts its message by claiming it isn’t a scam. (How, exactly?) Without watching the video, you’d think so after clicking the time-stamp and watching that part alone.
But then, thereafter watching the segment at 01:43, where it claims it constitutes a scam because you wait in line 80% of the time (a good reason as any to suspect it is), I must then conclude that this video is TALKING IN CIRCLES!
This undermines the channel’s credibility. Whoever does these description blurbs, stop them from getting a vacation ever again and transfer the sucker to your overseas office in Antarctica. The part without the cute little penguins.
(Soon, I’m going to Cinemassacre and audition for the Reboot of the Virtual Avatar version of Bullshit Man complete with heroic baritone and libertarian politics ala Penn Jillette–the best an eldritch abomination can get!)
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PARKS?
I don’t know. My brother, for his school trip, went to Florida when it was still sane. The park, I mean–I hear the state is fly for retirees–and I only remember how he described his commute.
The bus trip to and from the airport featured a television with Comedy Central on when it played a marathon of the first few episodes of South Park. He might have grown out of it, but I never did.
My brother does the best “I’M AN AXE MURDERER!” Ha-Ha, Ha-Ha, Ha-Ha! kind of laugh, by the way.
It’s like how mom abandoned The Three Stooges but her brother didn’t. I, for one, never abandoned South Park. The Harley biker episode is spot-on, for instance. And I don’t even want to talk about Disney World, you may have noticed.
Not to say Disney World was uneventful for my brother but, unless I’ve been there, I can’t have an opinion and can’t fully imagine its scope, besides. I may never attend Disney World, which is another topic that doesn’t apply exclusively to Disney.
The discussion itself is tire fire enough for me. There are whole channels, including Clownfish Television, who indulge in extreme negativity ostensibly to light fires beneath Disney’s heirs and staff but ultimately to cull favor from dispassionate netizens.
I watched one video by some anti-capitalist broad named Jenny Nicholson who attended an Avatar attraction at Disney years ago to critique it.
Interest is now skewered.
From what I understand, Jenny used to work for Disney World, so she goes out of her way to play the insider card instead of just an attendee card. Footage such as this shoos media savvy dabblers away, so only the highest-paying dullards linger.
In short, the critics are more responsible for the poor performance and high prices of Disney’s theme parks than allegations of child molesters among their ranks. Don’t they infest all positions of perceived authority, not just the pigs, preachers, and producers?
Note: Jenny slammed Escape From Tomorrow, the psycho-horror film depicting Disney World and its corporation in the worst way–itself a borderline-prophetic byproduct of guerilla filmmaking in 2013, presaging the slacktivist artifice of anti-Disney criticism online.
I don’t know how or why Jenny got the money to try any of this (Patreon is a vehicle but she isn’t that cute). I get more done walking around and pulling and pushing at work and will even earn a trickle of cash.
Still, she and I agree Disney World is a ludicrous tourist trap.
HOW MUCH OF A TRAP IS IT?
Good question! Normally, you could go online and check out prices and deals on the official site, but having to be there to write down numbers is necessary for confirming hidden, unmarked costs. Secondhand info, it is.
Now, I would ask Jenny, but she used to be a bottom-rung grunt and Clownfish Television is a journalist outfit dependent on exterior sources. And so, we have the crux of the article: a blog complaining about pricing.
Cool. Let’s see the sheets. Flip, flip, flip… uh-oh. $4,200-42,000? Another extra $2-3,000 to ride everything? $110,000? Are you joking? There are no precise stats!
They posted inconsistent numbers. How can the stock fail due to Disney World when nobody can infer spending trends there? Some spending is going on at least, right? We still have attendees. They got in. There’s no unchecked mass migration going on.
It’s also incendiary to imply upper-middle class wives are a target audience, thus blamable victims by proxy. We spend far more money on white guilt politics, besides.
Although there are ways in which to spend even more money on worthless political debates.
How exactly will not spending money at all reduce prices? Never mind the woke crowd and hippies don’t have money or inclination to invest in anything–you seriously think any self-respecting theme park like Disney ever caters to non-attendees?
A card-carrying economist will smile and nod but we know to take advice from gamblers and politicians before consulting that crowd. I mean, come on: economics is not about supply, demand, and sources.
It’s about what you’re willing to spend and what you’re expecting out of that investment.
And the investment itself, of course:
It just works.
EXCEPT WHEN WE’RE TOLD NOT TO?
Even the concept of vacations is suspect. This is where I do have an opinion you will find reprehensible. You’re not going to like this blog for endorsing its work ethic that transcends personal health and comfort.
Now, just because it rains urine on the cornflakes who think they deserve their vacations rather well does not mean it ever becomes sloppy in the process. It got snipped for phimosis, after all. It questions the very concept as it ignores the ramifications.
“What ramifications?” you might ask. Well, gather around the campfire so I can roast your chestnuts with some distilled anecdotes about new and exciting things I neither planned for nor made meaningful decisions about.
Once it’s done, you return to polite society like nothing happened and try real hard to reacquaint yourself with your former natural flow of life that you had forfeited for the sake of a “much-needed rest”.
And you paid cash.
“Spend money to completely interrupt your life!” Slick, every time summer break came along, I got rusty and, in every sense of the word, school became even harder as a result.
One time, my family did drive out-of-state to attend a music festival. I left early courtesy of appendi-fucking-citis. It is my reality check that confirmed that something might be wrong with the very concept of even a “stay-cation”.
How trendily cost-effective, comrade. If you took time out to pitch Marx over the horizon so it would hit you in the back of your head, forcing you to pitch it a little harder next time, you’d understand perfectly well why vacations are anathema to all humankind.
Turns out everything wrong with humanity has happened during which God has been resting after creating everything in the other six days.
Now, bear with me Islanders, I’m going to blow your collective minds: you know which country spends the most amount of time on vacation?
France!
(Look it up. It takes a little hard work.)
…
…
…
AH, FUCK IT!
You know how many full-time vacation days Japan gives you? Ten.
My advice is to never “go on vacation”, or just space your allotment out for Fridays so you get like a three-day weekend like Japan does. Grit your teeth, wait for emergencies.
Earn money wherever possible, save your money, invest in gold and silver, fix the car, donate to write off taxes, collect vintage porno mags–anything else but standing in a queue dreaming of words that start with the letter “Q” like “Quiet”, “Quick”, and “Queen”!
You can stand around all day after you get fired. You can stand around all day and that gets you fired. Don’t let life pass you by while you’re just standing there and certainly don’t let that happen by having you pay money first!
Good hunting. Once you kill your catch, have a feast with your girlfriends.